I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.